This blog is about living the good life and living it with a sense of simplicity.
Simplicity is also about honesty and getting to the heart of what matters most in life.
A palliative nurse recently wrote a book called 'The Top Five Regrets of the Dying'.
I've watched it being reviewed again and again by many on the internet. It's obviously hit a cord.
I thank this nurse and the elders who shared their wisdom.
I have read these 5 regrets over many times and have given these observations a great deal of thought.
I've especially wondered how I could embed them into my own way of life before I reach the end of life. I don't want regrets.
These are the 5 main regrets that the elderly shared with the author of this book. An excerpt for each is also provided.
“This was the most common regret of all.
When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled.
Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made or not made.
Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.”
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
“This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship.
Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners.
All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
“Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others.
As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming.
Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.”
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
“Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down.
Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years.
There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved.
Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.”
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
”This is a surprisingly common one.
Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice.
They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits.
The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives.
Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to themselves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.”
These are the 5 main regrets from the book.
I have noticed a surprising absence of some things such as family relations.
Are the elderly happy with how they've related to their families? Their siblings? Their children? Their spouses? No regrets, really?
Also no mention of their relationship & contribution to society. I wonder why? Do they believe they've left the world in a better place than how they came into it?
The elderly women, as they were from a different generation, were not bread winners as the women are today.
What regrets will the baby boomer women have as they approach their final years?
Will they feel they worked too much & sacrificed more than they received back? The oldest baby boomers turn 67 this year.
I think we can learn from this book and rewrite our own legacy before it's too late.
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